My Testimony

Grace Community Church sends out several STM (Short Term Ministries) teams every year. I'm going to Japan for 2 1/2 weeks this summer.  We had to submit our testimonies to post on the team blog - http://japanstm2010.wordpress.com. I wanted to share it mine here in case you didn't know what it was. Enjoy!

I was raised in a Christian home and attended church since I was a child.  As long as I could remember, I always believed God existed, but my understanding was limited and incomplete, and I knew nothing other than to do what I pleased and to live selfishly. 

I can’t recall the exact date, but I think I made my decision to officially “accept” Christ as my Savior when I was 12, in response to an altar call during one of our church revival meetings.  At that point, I was a young believer, ignorant and impressionable, and without much guidance, I fell into the trap of trying to “be Christian” without a clear understanding of what pursuing a relationship with Christ, pursuing Christlikeness, and knowing God really was supposed to be like. 

I did what I thought good Christians do: attended church weekly, read my Bible, prayed before meals and bedtime and became active in serving in the church.  Unfortunately, my relationship with the Lord was shallow at best.  I was ill-equipped and didn’t have the resources I needed to grow.  From the outside, I seemed healthy, but my ongoing struggles with sin were not exposed, confronted, or dealt with. 

Without realizing the need for change and growth, my life as a believer continued like this for over a decade - serving to meet a need or request but not because I was motivated out of true love for the Body, for Christ; behaving morally, conforming to ways to act and behave, while my heart was actually far from embracing gospel truths and their impact in my daily life, fully surrendering control of life over to the Lord.

But God, in His great providence, used my time away from home in 2005 to powerfully break me, to force me to fully rely on Him.  He revealed my pride and the idols in my heart.  God opened my eyes to what it really meant to be in Christ, to sorrow and grieve over sin and repent, the need to be sanctified and continually growing.  It wasn’t until I was in the Word regularly, daily, when I began to attend Bible Study Fellowship and a Bible teaching church that my desire to learn more and to love the Lord became real, became sincere and passionate. 

Through a series of events and the loving invitations of close friends, I visited Grace Community Church in 2008.  Not long after, I began to attend the Foundry.  I saw their love for the Word, love for Christ, and how that motivated them to love others, through selfless care and service that simply compelled me, challenged me. I thought to myself “this is how it’s supposed to be.”

God’s timing is perfect.  The Lord knew that I needed to change, and when my heart was ready, the Shepherd called me.  He brought me good books, faithful friends, and solid teaching to draw me, to grow me.  I am sad over the loss of those years, being blind, but I know God had a purpose and reason - to bring more glory to Himself.

I believe that God brings us each on different journeys.  For me, I’ve had some really difficult years adjusting, having all that I once knew shaken at its core, but I’ve grown and benefitted tremendously through it and would never trade it for anything else. 

I know what it means to have a high view of God, a high view of Scripture, a low view of man, and a proper view of self.  I know what it means to experience grace, amazing grace!  I know why I must hate sin as God hates it, to love and forgive others even when it feels impossible.  I know the value of cultivating godly relationships, both to give and receive love, admonition, and encouragement.  I delight in being committed to and serving in a church body, obeying Christ and His commands because I love the Lord.  I treasure God’s precious gift of the Word to me, and how I can study it to know Him better, love Him better through it.  I find power through prayer and privilege knowing that He is anxious to listen.  And I seek to bring the Good News to a world that is lost and dying, those who do not yet know Jesus and what it means to walk with Him. 

All that I once counted gain, I now regard as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus.  My life is IN Christ and I surrender all because He paid it all.  Praise God for we serve an awesome and returning King!

Grace and peace to you.