Heart check-up

Dear friends,
 
It has been a long four months since I've posted. For the faithful few that still come by and check in every once in a while, I'm glad to see your commitment. 

The Lord has been revealing many things in my heart these days, particularly in the context of dating and relationships with others.

I'm realizing just how easy and how conditioned I am to be self-obsessed, self-centered, self-worshipping...it's really quite shameful.

Ranging from my personal preferences, things (and there are many) that tend to make me irritable, and standards or expectations that I hold for myself and then naturally apply to others...and there's only one word to describe it all - sin.

I've been doing a new Bible reading "program" called the 10 lists. It's a system started by Dr. Horner from the Masters College. Although it is a lot of daily reading, it is flexible and comprehensive, as we see a larger view of the Bible as a whole.

I'm just now being reminded again of how often we fall short, like Israel, how valuable it is to meditate and be awestruck by the Lord's majesty, how easy it is to be caught in the struggle of what we were saved from...the old self is hard to put off and kill.  All these things and more...

Even more recently, I've often wondered how Paul must have felt about his past sins, and how he dealt with them...trusting in the blood of Jesus, but still feeling wretched....I know I have those days, and without proper self-control to snap out of that thinking, I am often discouraged at how little progress I see when I fail again.

Just to wrap up, I'm seeing how I am a sinner, in need of grace and forgiveness as the next person, and I am a work in progress. I'm blown away by the humility, kindness, and patience I'm surrounded by daily.  I know I offend people just as much as I feel offended by them, and yet I rarely acknowledge this.

Praise the Lord that He shows us how to trust in Him, to abide in Him, to continue to battle the flesh, to be deliberate about "putting on" righteousness and pursuing holiness, and dealing first and foremost, with the heart.

From thoughts, to speech, to actions, I need to do a regular heart diagnosis, and run to the loving Father that forgives again and again.

Grace and peace to you.